I'd agree with others here, look for a 14+.
I had a 2014 V6 as a work vehicle, which led me to buy my '14 R/T. So I've driven both. The mileage on the V6 will be better, 25+ at times on long trips. I take really long trips in my R/T (Driven to all 4 corners of the US in the last few years) and I can get 22-23mpg if I set the cruise and stay off the gas.
The V6 will be just fine and you can get all of the things you're needing. If the extra power isn't a necessity then go for it. If you don't mind 15mpg in town and want extra power here and there then go for the R/T.
Good luck with your search!
PS: My Durango R/T has been the best vehicle (and traveling vehicle) I've ever owned, hands down.
2016 Ford Interceptor SUV (Work Vehicle)
2014 Durango R/T Black (Personal Vehicle)
Where has your Durango been lately?
February 2017: Minnesota to Key West...4400 miles to come!
Over the past few months I had narrowed down the search to a '14-15 AWD V6 Limited with the; Premium, S/S & C packages as well as the Tow group (for the HD equipment). Reasons as stated above, new dash with the 8.4 as well as the 8-spd. Why the optioned up Limited vs. the easier to find no stress Citadel? I personally could not justify the $3K step up for what amounted to the handy cooled front seats and the tasteful chrome exterior touches - to each his own. I ended up with a '14 because of the mileage, color and it was only 3hrs away. The cost difference between '14 with 32K miles and 2-months left on the bumper-to-bumper warranty plus a discounted 24 month Max Care plan, worked out to be about the same as a similarly optioned '15 with similar miles and a year left on the bumper-to-bumper, but in the "wrong" (per the wife) color. I have only gone through four tanks of gas in mixed traffic so far with cold remote start warm-ups and have been getting 19 MPG. That and it runs on 87 octane - all my other vehicles do not. One thing I figured out quickly was to just leave it in Eco mode and use a gentle foot - the MPG will surprise you. It has plenty of power to get you or your wife in trouble fast. I have to use cruise on the highway or I find myself doing 10-15 MPH over the limit without even realizing it.
I drove an R/T and fell in love with it, but knew it would be a real hot rod in my hands. "Hey guys let's swap in a 6.4L or install a s/c kit. Hellcat anyone!" There is a specialty salvage yard here in town that specializes in SRT models among other HP vehicles. Been there and done that with several other vehicles over the years - that's not the plan with this one though
'11 Crew AWD 3.6L
OPT7 CREE V2 fogs (wired as DRL)
Mopar mud guards
Custom "hers" magenta interior trim
Mopar door sill guards
OPT7 FluxBeam DRLs
Cloth to Leather Conversion
'14 Limited 2WD 3.6L
Go Rhino steps
Clean Cut Decals door sill guards
Mopar mud guards
Luverne 3" bull bar
Vvivid vinyl interior trim
Custom license plate LED mod